Polyamorous Relationships 101: 3 books to guide you

Photo: Ball 1 by Willy Ronis

Navigating the world of polyamory can be both exhilarating and difficult. Whether you're new to non-monogamy or looking to deepen your understanding, having the right resources is crucial. Here are three essential books that can guide you on your journey: The Ethics of Plural Loves , Polysecure and Polywise .

1. The Ethical Slut- $24.99 also available in French

The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy is often considered the pillar of polyamorous literature. This groundbreaking book, first published in 1997 and now in its third edition, offers a comprehensive guide to consensual non-monogamy. Easton and Hardy provide practical advice on managing jealousy, building trust, and maintaining healthy communication in polyamorous relationships. They emphasize the importance of consent, honesty and ethical behavior, clarifying that non-monogamy, like any relationship style, requires commitment and integrity. “The Ethical Slut” is an inspiring read that celebrates sexual freedom and helps individuals create fulfilling and responsible relationships.

2. Polysecure + Workbook kit $54.95 available in English only

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern explores the psychological aspects of polyamorous relationships, focusing particularly on attachment theory. Fern, a psychotherapist specializing in trauma and relationships, examines how attachment styles influence our connections and how polyamorous individuals can cultivate secure attachments. It offers valuable perspectives on managing insecurities, building emotional resilience, and creating supportive relational structures. Polysecure is essential reading for those interested in understanding the interplay between attachment and polyamory, offering practical tools for building stronger, more secure bonds.

The workbook also allows the reader to put into practice the concepts included in the book.

3. Polywise $33.95 available in English only

Polywise: A Deep Dive into Consensual Non-Monogamy is another insightful book from Jessica Fern, co-written with David Cooley. This book delves deeper into the foundations laid in Polysecure offering a more comprehensive exploration of the practicalities and challenges of polyamorous living. Polywise covers advanced topics such as resolving conflict, managing power dynamics, and improving intimacy within multiple relationships . Fern and Cooley provide concrete examples and strategies for maintaining harmony and connection in complex polyamorous networks. Polywise is an invaluable resource for those seeking to deepen their understanding and practice of ethical non-monogamy, equipping readers with the tools necessary for lasting and fulfilling polyamorous relationships.

Each of these books brings a unique perspective on polyamorous relationships, offering valuable advice for both beginners and experienced practitioners. By understanding the principles and practices outlined in “The Ethical Slut,” “Polysecure,” and “Polywise,” you can cultivate healthier, more fulfilling polyamorous connections.

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